To Track a Traitor by Iona Whishaw

Author:Iona Whishaw
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Touchwood Editions
Published: 2023-04-17T00:00:00+00:00

* * *

it was nearly nine when Francine pulled herself away from where she had been sitting in the garden. The afternoon heat had finally begun to dissipate, and the light was beginning to wane. She pulled her shawl around her shoulders and wondered why she hadn’t got out of her uniform yet. It was a kind of inertia, she supposed. She thought about the letter she’d written to Richard before they’d even left France. Looking back, she was astonished at her own rash behaviour. She had received no answer from him, and she told herself that it was because of the fighting, or perhaps the letter had never reached him. She had a feeling now as if her life was suspended, and she was waiting and waiting for something, she knew not what.

She sat on the broken-down sofa, her hands flat on either side of her as if she were trying to hold herself there. What happened with Ben was shameful. She could see that so clearly now. How had she not then? She should never have met with him. He had said he loved her, had always loved her—lies, of course—and she had been lost. She knew she had been vulnerable because she had discovered almost the moment she’d married Richard that he was the wrong man for her. She’d been lured by a desperate need to be looked after when she was at her weakest. The illusion of security and closeness had been broken almost at once. He’d been cold on their wedding night. She coloured at the memory of his “doing his duty” as if it were painful to him. She had been made to feel ashamed of her own desire. After what she’d done with Ben, her shame had become acute. It had been stupid to expose herself to danger like that. That was the trouble, really: she had always had the upper hand with Ben since they were children. Now she understood that that had been, was still, a kind of love, however unhealthy, and she had not been able to pull away from him.

She finally dragged herself off the couch and cleaned up after her modest supper of tea and toast and a boiled egg. She had hoped the walk from the village to the cottage would have tired her and she would sleep well, but even now, as she brought her teacup and placed it next to the washing-up basin, she wasn’t sure how she would sleep. She had always been sure that things would work out in her life. Now she wondered if her luck had finally run out. She almost felt comfort at this. She didn’t deserve luck.

After a brief moment of wondering if she should go outside and draw a bucket of water for the morning, she shivered and decided she’d best get into bed and try to get some sleep. She had just put aside her shawl and folded down the bedclothes when there was a knock on the door.

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